Relationship Advice - Before You Give and Give - Give it a Rest
Initially, I have no complaints about how people act when in the throws of love. It is so new, fresh, exciting, sexy, wonderful...the emotions go on and on. The whole idea that we get that excited is what keeps the world going around. Men and women are so different that without these overwhelming emotions, we probably wouldn't get together at all. What I do see that bothers me sometimes though, is the uncontrollable urge to give that person everything you have. I'm not just talking about your money, car or living space, but your heart, soul and sensibilities as well.
A friend of mine let her new boyfriend of 2 weeks move in because he didn't have a place of his own. He ended up spending all of her money in short order and breaking up with her within the month. The red flags were all over this situation but she didn't care. She didn't care and she wouldn't listen. But she wouldn't have let just anyone move in on a regular day...she's not stupid. But infatuation deprogrammed her from logic. Before you start to judge, know that I and most of us have been in this same situation. Except as we get older, some things that we may lose will be very hard to get back: Trust, hope, belief and faith. To lose these things in terms of your relationships will mean half-hearted attempts to cure loneliness and relationships that will be broken and unexcited.
I know how powerful love can be. I sit and write everyday about how it elates the soul and moves mountains. It is what we are here on Earth to do. Empires have been built and wars have been waged in the name of love. It is the strongest emotion there is. But the most important person you need to please is yourself. If they take everything from you (or you give it all away) there will nothing of yourself to give to anyone when the time comes to share. And things like trust are the most important asset you have, because without trust and faith, you have nothing. When you get caught up in love's web, take a breather! Sleep on it a bit. Listen to friends (that's hard) and don't throw everything you own to your new lover. That's not what love is about. You are the possession most valuable to them. And if you're not, then you are with the wrong person. Before you give and give and give...give it a rest. Love respects open eyes...
How do you create an everlasting quality for your relationship today?
For nearly 20 years one man, Colin Martin, has searched for and found the number one secret to building an exceptional romantic relationship. The answer doesn't lie in the endless volumes of self help books and repetitive talk shows ....but within yourself!